Call Me Crazy . . .

. . . but I’d bet someone a cup of coffee that before the end of January, we’ll hear that the real cause of the tsunami was secret U.S. nuclear testing, or some other equally goofy blood-in-the-matzo conspiracy theory. Takers?

Americans–The New Jews!

UPDATE: Umm, I think I’ll call this guy crazy instead. Another Korea blogger no less–the seeing eye blog–is angling to win me my year’s supply of macchiato. I’d never actually read his blog, but what a hoot, right out of the far-, far-, far-left fever swamps. First, he links the parody Nomad mentions in his comment below, and manages to make himself the real parody by saying, in apparent seriousness–

One enlightened and hard-working website, run by a guy named Larry, has the facts, and painstakingly traces the tsunami back to a chain of events begun in 2001, just after Bush’s inauguration. This is what Michael Moore means when he tells reporters to “Do your jobs!!” and tell the public about the eggs and the limo.

He obviously didn’t notice the link to Scandalous Hegemony by Noam Chomsky. A riot! Be sure to read “Larry’s” bio, too. Yep, if we’d only listen to Michael Moore, all our journalism would be this good.

The seeing eye has plenty of other gems, such as this digital pogrom against Michael Horowitz (who, to my knowledge, has absolutely nothing to do with Israel’s alleged “multitudinous [sic] atrocities,” by hey, he’s got a Jewish name right? Somewhere, Julius Streicher must be smiling). He also has some tender words of consolation for the mother of abduction victim Megumi Yokota:

Now imagine where she’d be if the North Korean agents would have left her in capitalist Japan. Actually, you don’t have to: She’d be suffering the “worst inhumanity,” working as a prostitute in Okinawa. Or she’d have been a cheap nude model, and she’d be on posters in car mechanic shops throughout Japan. Or she’d be married to some hapless unemployed guy and living in an Osaka slum and reduced to rummaging through noodle-shop trash bins for enough food to survive another day. And she’d still have that hideous Japanese name, instead of a nice new Korean one. North Korea did her a favor.

Can you imagine what a tortured childhood that must have been? And I’m not even talking about Megumi! He also offers this consolation to the unfortunate worker who recently died in the industrial accident at Kaesong:

A sad reminder that reunification over 20-30 years will not come without martyrs. The man’s praises deserve to be sung in the nation’s classrooms. And there should be a verse or two reminding schoolchildren of the silver lining to this cloud: That the medical treatment was free.

Three (posthumous) cheers for state-managed health care!

I found myself repeatedly wondering if this guy could actually be serious and concluded, to my horror and great amusement, that he actually is. Now, I realize that I’ve probably breached some unwritten blog law of protocol. Maybe he’ll console himself with the fact that at least he got linked.

The Almighty reclaims all our cells and souls eventually. In this guy’s case, I suspect it will be with a sense of embarrassment for arranging them so carelessly in the womb in the first place. Anyway, if nothing else, the seeing eye blog is damned good entertainment, and all the proof you need that drugs are bad, kids.

UPDATE: Commenter Angus claims to know Seeing Eye and informs me isn’t serious. Well, I guess he fooled me, and if so, I owe him a beer at the very least, plus he gets a well-earned belly laugh at my expense. I have to say I scoured the site for something to firmly persuade me one way or the other, and concluded the tone was indistinguishable from some of the other lefty stuff I see on the net. That’s a sad statement. There’s just one way to resolve this: Seeing Eye, are you for real or are you putting us all on? Minds are inquiring.

Must go to wash egg off face now.

UPDATE: I never considered myself too dull-witted to distingish satire, but I confess–I can scarcely tell the difference from the real thing. Someone tell me this one’s for real. Maybe my problem is that the stuff that’s trying to be serious is so funny, it’s getting hard to tell the difference.