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Kreminology Update: Just after we hear fresh rumors that Kim Jong-Il may be safely locked away in a gilded cage comes fresh word that the North Korean radio is playing up the heredetary succession of Porky’s li’l sprout, Kim Jong-Chol, to lordship of the sty. It’s hard to know what to make of this, so here are several avenues of utterly unsubstantiated and wild speculation, all to be taken that their stated face value, which is very little:

1. Kim Jong Il really remains fully in control, and he’s actually chosen a successor. It’s sheer coincidence that recent rumors have suggested that he’s fallen from power, or perhaps this is intended to tamp down the rumors, which the government knows are spreading inside North Korea. In which case, you’d expect Porky to make a public appearance in the near future.

2. Kim Jong Il has survived some kind of challenge to his power, and this is his way of showing everyone that he’s in charge. So go get some Chinese takeout and show your face, already.

3. Kim Jong Il really isn’t fully in control, and this is someone’s way of creating the appearance that all is perfectly ordinary. Kim III may be a puppet–a last emperor–who is being gradually eased into in place to prevent panic or power grabs. Porky continues to recede into (a) his collection of Daffy Duck cartoons and imported cognac, or (b) a shallow unmarked grave, and we continue seeing very little of him.

4. Insert own theory here.