Category: Humor/Satire

Open Sources, August 20, 2012

SMILES! SMILES, EVERYONE! You’re on Fantasy Island! ————————————————– DEATH OF AN ALLIANCE? Regular readers know I haven’t been fond of keeping U.S. ground forces in South Korea since I was a part of that force a decade ago. If anything has cooled my ardor for winding down U.S. military welfare for one of the world’s wealthiest nations, it has been the understanding that we shouldn’t punish the leaders of a government who act like allies at least part of the...

AP Exclusive! Traitor to Fatherland Repents, Seeks Dear Leader’s Forgiveness! (Updated)

Scroll down for an update. In an news conference attended by such respected international news services as Russia Today, The Global Times, the Korean Central News Agency, and the Associated Press, a traitor to the fatherland revealed that brigandish South Korean puppets finagled her away from the loving and ample man-bosoms of Dear Leader Kim Jong Un. Pak Jong Suk made the account to local and foreign reporters Thursday at the People’s Palace of Culture in Pyongyang. The 66-year-old’s story...

Sticks and Stones

Sure, it’s creepy when North Korea teaches children to torment effigies of your president, but that’s the kind of insult a mature society learns to ignore.  The next time the North erupts in contrived outrage about some perceived slight to its leaders, just put that into perspective.  Words are just words, unless they’re threats. When North Korea communicates threats, we need to treat those like acts of terrorism and sanction them accordingly. North Korea’s jamming of GPS used by airliners,...

North Korea Imitates South Park

Yonhap reports: North Korean leader Kim Jong-un lashed out at officials of an amusement park for neglecting to take proper care of the facility’s grounds and rides, the North’s state media said Wednesday in an apparent move to highlight the leader’s concern for his people. North Korean media, including the official Korean Central News Agency (KCNA), said Kim inspected the Mangyongdae Funfair in Pyongyang and scolded officials there after discovering flaws throughout the park.  [….] According to the news reports,...

AP Exclusive: Another Great Moment in North Korean Agriculture!

What’s all this I keep hearing from fringe organizations like the World Food Program that North Korea isn’t agriculturally self-sufficient? To mark what would have been Kim’s 100th birthday, thousands came to central Pyongyang to view elaborate displays, mostly of the violet orchid Kimilsungia named in his honor and the red begonia Kimjongilia named for his son and successor, Kim Jong Il. The Kimilsungia, named after Kim by the late Indonesian dictator Sukarno, has become an integral part of the...

Jabba the Kim among the Ewoks, or worst photo op ever

Maybe the Associated Press’s new vocation as a propaganda outlet for North Korea has a brighter side than I’d originally realized. Today, the AP brings us what must be the worst photo op ever, a barracks inspection by Kim Jong Eun. Where to begin? The unwittingly (I think) subversive decision to surround the morbidly obese kid — has he ever looked so fat? — with these lean, hungry leprechauns and their leathery, wizened officers? Posing him next to the their...

KIm Jong Il’s Funeral Ride Was in an American Made Car

Source: KCNA via NK Leadership Watch Well if this doesn’t take the cake!   I suspected it, but then thought twice about it — surely even the North Korean higher-ups wouldn’t go against their own propaganda for an event to be watched into perpetuity by every one of their subjects.  Yet commenter Thomas was the first here to come out and say it, and now ABC News Radio says it’s true: …But a curious detail was that the boxy black...

Once again, North Korea makes soccer entertaining.

And to think people wonder why I blog about North Korea. North Korea’s coach blamed his side’s 2-0 loss to the United States on his players getting struck by lightning in the build up to the Women’s World Cup. Kwang Min Kim claimed that some of them were hospitalised with electrocution after a training match on 8 June. Maybe their treating physician had one of those special transmitters, too. This probably calls for some kind of criticism session, though if...

Monty Python and the Holy Centrifuges

With relations between North and South Korea still tense and limited, the North threatened Monday to abandon a military hot line with the South and close a jointly operated office where officials from both Koreas interact. The North also said it would never again deal with President Lee Myung-bak of South Korea, calling him a “traitor,” although the North Korean leader, Kim Jong-il, said only last month that he was willing to participate in a summit meeting with Mr. Lee....

Tapdancing to the Graveyard

If we are to believe the International Business Times — and I’ve allowed the temptation to do so overcome my better judgment — North Korea ranks itself the second-happiest nation in own global Happiness Index. I realize that reactions to this news may vary. You may be thinking that it’s an honor just to be nominated. Others will wonder which camp are the judges in now. One observer correctly notes that “[n]othing says happy like government-issued proclamations of happiness.” But...

Announcing the Jimmy Carter-Kim Jong Il Habitat Foundation*

Hello, Jimmy Carter here. Some of you may remember me for my successful negotiations that preceded the freeing of American hostages from our embassy in Iran, brought peace to the Middle East and free elections to China, and secured the peaceful nuclear disarmament of North Korea. But of course, you say, I’m remembered for something else, too — for my tireless campaigning on behalf of the downtrodden and oppressed everywhere from 1973 to 1975, and since 1983. As my covenant...

Kucinich Is the One on the Right

I briefly interrupt my hiatus to give you this to gawk upon: The Daily Show – Dennis Kucinich’s Improbable SuccessTags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook Kucinich, the Congressgnome from Middle Earth, has made a few appearances in this blog for being the main congressional backer of Christine Ahn’s National Campaign to End the Korean War. Anyway, it disappoints me to see Kucinich nudged out of Congress by non-democratic means, whether those means involve...