Good Riddance, Nick Burns
Nicholas Burns, the State Department’s number three diplomat and the man whom a reliable source told me was the one who blocked implementation of the North Korean Human Rights Act, will step down for “personal reasons.” Alas, the reasons are not known to include painful bleeding hemorrhoids, and so I must go on doubting God’s existence.
Burns’s legacy will include such notable accomplishments as Iran’s nuclear bomb. His replacement is the eponymous William Burns (no relation) who has enjoyed such great success as our ambassador to Vlad Putin that all of the journalists there have to employ food tasters.