Understatement of the Year: “Mr. Kim Ran Unopposed”
Citizens of North Korea, change has not come!
The North Korean leader, Kim Jong-il, had himself re-elected to another five-year term by Parliament on Thursday as questions persisted over his failing health and his regime’s confrontation with the outside world after its recent rocket launch. The Supreme People’s Assembly “upheld” Mr. Kim as chairman of the country’s most powerful agency, the National Defense Commission, said the state-run Korean Central News Agency.
Mr. Kim ran unopposed. [N.Y. Times, Choe Sang Hun]
Because this is the Times, it’s possible that the irony was unintentional.
If you’re reading this from North Korea by some odd fluke, my advice would be to act surprised. For those North Koreans who are not currently in the OFK service area, other information suggests how you’re expected to receive this news:
The future of the DPRK is immensely bright as it holds Kim Jong Il, the illustrious commander of Mt. Paektu and statesman of general-type, at the top posts of the Party, the army and the state. [….]
He is the great statesman of general-type who has performed immortal feats to shine forever in history by leading the Party and the army, the state and the people for several decades with his extraordinary qualification and personality and distinguished political caliber as an illustrious commander born of Heaven.
The past more than decade during which he has led the Korean revolution, shouldering upon himself the heavy responsibility as chairman of the NDC is an unforgettable period which witnessed an epoch-making change in strengthening and developing the Korean revolutionary armed forces and a glorious period during which he fully demonstrated the heroic spirit of Korea dynamically advancing toward a bright morrow, weathering manifold trials.
The precious feats he has performed by leading the Korean revolution as chairman of the NDC are that he made the DPRK always shed its rays as Kim Il Sung’s Korea, augmented the political and military potentials of the country in every way and laid an eternal foundation for the prosperity of the country and the happiness of the people.
The editorial calls upon all the servicepersons and people to fully demonstrate the dignity of the DPRK and spirit of sure victory under the uplifted banner of Songun, while keeping in their mind the great honor and happiness of having Kim Jong Il at the helm of the Korean revolution. [KCNA]
Or, they could try to suppress their yearning for the sweet release of death. After all, they’ll probably live longer than he will, and it’s not as if you need to worry about this guy taking over.