North Korea Releases White Paper on South Korean Human Rights, Hilarity Ensues

With such an abundance of great blogging material these days, KCNA has written what I can only describe as a screed for the ages. Even by KCNA standards, this simply re-sets the bar:

The National Reunification Institute released a white paper Thursday indicting the fascist clique for having reduced south Korea to the land with the worst human rights record through sycophancy and treachery, fascist dictatorship and confrontation with fellow countrymen.

Further down the litany of horribles:

The puppet group of traitors imported American beef seriously harming the health and life security of south Koreans and touching off outcries among them. This is the hideous human rights abuse of special mention.

I wonder how many North Koreans wouldn’t risk a stint in the gulag for a ration of American beef, even without the benefit of knowing that it all started with a PD Diary story reported by Emily Litella.

The group introduced to south Korea more than 1,000 U.S. nukes enough to destroy the Korean nation dozens or hundreds of times. It, however, has persistently taken issue with the DPRK’s nuclear deterrent, while zealously shielding and conniving at the U.S. nukes which may inflict a nuclear holocaust upon the fellow countrymen. [….]

It is, at the same time, hurling young and middle-aged Koreans to the shambles of wars of aggression being waged by the U.S. in different parts of the world, forcing them to meet grievous deaths.

Say what? Needless to say, and leaving aside the mendacity of this, the condemnation rings a bit hollow coming from a state that almost certainly just killed 44 46 South Korean sailors in a premeditated sneak attack.

There occurred unprecedented tragic incidents last year in which the two former “presidents” met unnatural deaths due to the fascist authorities’ despicable politically-motivated harassment and retaliation. This clearly indicates what a deplorable phase the human rights performance has reached in south Korea.

And now, some good old fashioned projection.

It is another hideous human rights abuse committed by the puppet group that it revived fascist dictatorship and turned south Korea into a tundra of human rights where democracy is cruelly violated.

I posit that you could wire up Alejandro Cao de Benos to a polygraph and read this to him, and he’d have the needle ejaculating ink all over his Mao suit by the end of the second paragraph. Good propaganda must be minimally believable. This just smacks of desperation.

Or parody.