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Dennis Rodman, back from rehab, recounts hallucinations from last visit to Pyongyang

So Dennis Rodman is out of rehab and talking to the media again. In this interview, he’s described as “a potential source of information about a country that is inaccessible to most of the world,” so let’s test that.

Rodman’s first major revelation is that Jang Song Thaek wasn’t really executed several weeks before Rodman’s last trip to Pyongyang. In fact, Rodman says that on his last trip, Jang was “standing right behind me.”

Also, Kim Jong Un is “doing everything for these people” by building them the things they need most, like a ski resort and a water park. Asked again about North Korea’s political prison camps, Rodman said, “You name any country in the world… Which country does not have that shit? Every country has that.” Noted.

Somewhere in Langley, a CIA officer is putting down his pen, folding up his pad, and shaking his head in silent pity.

Can Rodman at least give us a lucid response to questions about his reported legal troubles for violating sanctions regulations?

DR: When I go there, it’s going to be a problem coming back. Because they could actually stop me from coming back. They could actually pull my passport. They already told me that. They’re afraid of me because I know so much.

DJ: “They” being…?

DR: Americans. Our government. They’ve got to be careful what they say, what they do, so I respect that. But for me, I mean, it’s freedom of speech. I’m not hurting anybody, I’m not putting anybody in danger, I’m just telling what I see. I have that leverage now that no one in the world has.

DJ: Is it true you’re being indicted by the U.S. Treasury?

DR: They want to indict me. And I’m like, “For what?” Treason. They’ve threatened me. They said I gave his wife a fur coat, a dress, I gave all these gifts. I was like, “I did? No I didn’t!”

I have to say, I’m disappointed that no one asked Rodman about the apocryphal report that he chundered and shat his way through the Koryo Hotel.

More consistent with expert opinion is the observation that Kim’s wife “don’t dress like a typical [North] Korean.” “She likes Gucci, Versace.” Oh, and North Korea wants a peace treaty, and to keep its nukes. What can we conclude from all of this? That they have yet to invent a rehab for what ails Dennis Rodman.

5 Responses

  1. You get the feeling that Rodman thinks North Korea is somehow socking it to the man. His stuff is pure comic gold and rehab doesn’t seem to have stomped out his delusions of UN-ness. “I have that leverage now that no one in the world has.” North Korea is a kind of slumming it, hard to reach Israel for those with nonspiritual messianic needs.
    A marginally better source of inside info on NK is Japanese media, which has been leaked some info about the details of Beijing’s plans in the event of the North’s collapse.
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/northkorea/10808719/China-plans-for-North-Korean-regime-collapse-leaked.html

  2. If the Telegraph story in Dan’s comment is true, China is making a big mistake. The correct policy would be the Glans Plan for Korea:
    1. PRC stays out.
    2. ROK annexes DPRK.
    3. USA gets out.

  3. David’s Plan:
    1. China/Russia descend to 39/30, which includes missile and nuclear sites
    2. SoKo/UN ascend to 39/30 which includes Pyongyang
    3. China/Russia withdraw after six months taking all nuclear and missile materials with them, to enclaves at Sinuiju and Razon.
    4. SoKo alone, without UN, advances to Tyumen/Yalu borders and Korea is unified.
    5. SoKo signs Non-Prolif treaty and declares peninsula a nuke free zone
    6. China leaves Sinuiju, Russia leaves Rason, and US/UN leave the peninsula and islands.