Dennis Rodman, back from rehab, recounts hallucinations from last visit to Pyongyang

So Dennis Rodman is out of rehab and talking to the media again. In this interview, he’s described as “a potential source of information about a country that is inaccessible to most of the world,” so let’s test that.

Rodman’s first major revelation is that Jang Song Thaek wasn’t really executed several weeks before Rodman’s last trip to Pyongyang. In fact, Rodman says that on his last trip, Jang was “standing right behind me.”

Also, Kim Jong Un is “doing everything for these people” by building them the things they need most, like a ski resort and a water park. Asked again about North Korea’s political prison camps, Rodman said, “You name any country in the world… Which country does not have that shit? Every country has that.” Noted.

Somewhere in Langley, a CIA officer is putting down his pen, folding up his pad, and shaking his head in silent pity.

Can Rodman at least give us a lucid response to questions about his reported legal troubles for violating sanctions regulations?

DR: When I go there, it’s going to be a problem coming back. Because they could actually stop me from coming back. They could actually pull my passport. They already told me that. They’re afraid of me because I know so much.

DJ: “They” being…?

DR: Americans. Our government. They’ve got to be careful what they say, what they do, so I respect that. But for me, I mean, it’s freedom of speech. I’m not hurting anybody, I’m not putting anybody in danger, I’m just telling what I see. I have that leverage now that no one in the world has.

DJ: Is it true you’re being indicted by the U.S. Treasury?

DR: They want to indict me. And I’m like, “For what?” Treason. They’ve threatened me. They said I gave his wife a fur coat, a dress, I gave all these gifts. I was like, “I did? No I didn’t!”

I have to say, I’m disappointed that no one asked Rodman about the apocryphal report that he chundered and shat his way through the Koryo Hotel.

More consistent with expert opinion is the observation that Kim’s wife “don’t dress like a typical [North] Korean.” “She likes Gucci, Versace.” Oh, and North Korea wants a peace treaty, and to keep its nukes. What can we conclude from all of this? That they have yet to invent a rehab for what ails Dennis Rodman.