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Talks to Restart? Take this announcement with a grain of salt, and when it comes to the hope of any real progress there, unscrew the lid from the shaker:

“Even if we get past the worst and the six-party talks restart, ultimately we cannot be optimistic” since North Korea is now saying the six-party talks should be mutual nuclear disarmament negotiations.

What’s this? My exclusive OFK satellite eaves-ear-dropper has produced a transcript of the meeting:

China: The Americans will refer you to the Security Council if you don’t return to the talks.

N. Korea: But you’ll veto the resolution.

China: Not unless you show up and talk. Vetoes are subject to a rule of diminishing returns. Just ask Jacques Chirac. We like to save our veto for special occasions, like Taiwan. Fret not–all we ask is that you show up. Once you’re there, you can read the Rodong Sinmum to them for all we care.

N. Korea: Fine, but we’ll never admit to having a uranium program or agree to on-the-spot inspections.

China: Works for us. We find the diplomatic difficulties you create for the Americans useful. They don’t want another public fiasco like they had over Iraq. We can drag this debate out indefinitely. We can even find a quiet place for your centrifuges for a while, if necessary. Eventually, the Americans might even vote Howard Dean or Al Gore into the White House, and we’ll get a deal that gives them what they want on paper, but without any inspections. We’ll be home free.

N. Korea: That works for us. See you in Beijing.

China: But of course. The fuel shipment is waiting at Sinuiju now.