Home  >  Humor/Satire

Category: Humor/Satire

December 23, 2010

North Korea Awards Highest Civilian Honor to Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen

You know how hard I’ve worked for the coveted Human Scum Award for the last seven years, and I’ve yet to receive so much as a nomination: Ros-Lehtinen, member of the U.S. House of Representatives, called for taking “strong counteraction” and relisting the DPRK as a “sponsor of terrorism,” while terming it a “rogue regime”. This is intolerable as it is malignant vituperation against the dignified DPRK and its system. Ros, man representing the U.S. conservative hard-liners, is human scum...

Categories U.S. Politics/Unintended Humor
November 24, 2010

Mayor of Incheon Blames North Korean Shelling on Little Eichmanns Coming Home to Roost

I’ve often said that in the eyes of many “progressive” South Koreans, it’s just not physically possible for North Korea to do wrong, and Incheon Mayor Song Young-Gil has done much to confirm our worst fears. A day after the North Koreans shelled Yeonpyeong Island — which, by the way, is undisputed South Korean territory — Song tweeted out that the attack was provoked by South Korean military exercises. Song also uploaded some pictures and said that North Korea shelled...

Categories Korean Politics/Useful Idiocy/WTF?/Yeonpyeong Attack
October 19, 2010

The Boy Who Cried “Sheep!”: One Man’s Mass Murderer Is Selig Harrison’s Reformer

For someone who judged the evidence of North Korea’s uranium enrichment program so skeptically, Selig Harrison sure doesn’t set a very high bar to perceive evidence of “reform” in North Korea. But Harrison’s latest op-ed in the Boston Globe is in equal parts breathless and baseless, and might just extend his dismal predictive record into the next decade. In his desperation to find some sign that North Korea’s new Inner Party is a hothouse of reforms, Harrison pounds the square...

Categories Humor/Satire/Kremlinology/The Camps/Useful Idiocy
September 10, 2010

Ban Ki Moon, In One Quote

The Telegraph reports on the case of a Chinese diplomat working as Ban’s Undersecretary General for Economic and Social Affairs, who recently staggered into the glow of Diogenes’s lamp while on a retreat for U.N. commissars in Austria, with Ban Ki Moon in attendance. “I know you never liked me Mr. Secretary-General ““ well, I never liked you, either,” said Mr Sha as Mr Ban looked on, smiling and nodding awkwardly during the 15-minute toast attended by the UN’s top...

Categories China/WTF?
September 4, 2010

Funny, Donald Gregg is probably the last person I’d have asked for advice like this …

I can’t decide whether I’m more embarrassed for myself for having clicked this link, or for Gregg for being quoted right between the bartender and the shrink with the radio talk show, giving his advice on how to pick up chicks. Donald P. Gregg, former ambassador to South Korea “I think showing you have a sense of humor is a real door-opener. A willingness to be self-deprecating is often helpful. And remember that sometimes it’s a question of not saying...

Categories WTF?
June 30, 2010

North Korea Demands $65 Trillion Dollars from U.S. Government

In case you thought there was an end in sight to North Korea’s demands before it would agree to disarm: The Obama administration ridiculed North Korea on Friday for claiming $65 trillion from the United States in Korean War damages, saying the communist nation is an economic “basket case” due its own failed policies. Have the North Koreans actually looked at our balance sheets lately? While it’s probable that the Congressional Budget Office has been working nights to recompute our...

Categories Korean War/WTF?
June 29, 2010

The Monstrosity Industry

It is fairly common knowledge that Kim Jong Il deprives and starves his people to buy luxuries for himself and build monuments to his rule, but I did not know how many more luxuries and monuments he can now afford by selling luxuries and monuments to other statist tyrants. Only in Africa or the Middle East can Kim Jong Il still serve as a role model for great governance. According to the source, North Korea has earned $66.03 million from...

Categories Africa/WTF?
June 24, 2010

Great Moments in North Korean Fashion Design

In our last episode, we learned that Kim Jong-Il, cutting an “august” figure in his “modest-looking suits,” has “gripped people’s imagination and become a global vogue,” which I guess you can’t call entirely untrue. In today’s episode, women everywhere are tantalized by the thought of wrapping themselves in fashion designed by a government ministry. Da! The Garment Institute of the Ministry of Foodstuff and Daily Necessities Industry has recently designed new models of dresses suitable for women’s aesthetic tastes. The...

Categories WTF?
June 23, 2010

Take a Drink!

Hillary, U.S. secretary of State, was recently reported to have blustered during her junket of Middle and South American countries that the DPRK poses a threat to the world peace and it is necessary to “convince” the world public of this fact. Such sophism is intended to win the support for the U.S. hostile policy toward the DPRK from other countries. Her remarks about the DPRK’s “threat” to the global peace are brigandish sophism reminiscent of a thief crying “Stop...

Categories Humor/Satire/Propaganda/Unintended Humor
June 21, 2010

Kim Jong Il’s on-the-spot guidance does for North Korean soccer what it did for North Korean agriculture and industry

At last, something interesting has happened at the World Cup after all. The North Korean team was crushed by Portugal in the most lopsided World Cup score in eight years, eliminating North Korea from the competition, and greatly advancing my personal objective of ignoring the rest of the World Cup. The question on everyone’s lips now is whether the North Korean players or their families will face retribution for this loss. I really don’t know the answer to that, and...

Categories Kim Jong Il/Sports/WTF?
May 29, 2010

But the real question is how many South Koreans will actually believe this ….

Another day, another chutzpah record broken in Pyongyang: “The South Korean puppet regime’s faked sinking of the Cheonan has created a very serious situation on the Korean peninsula, pushing it towards the brink of war,” Maj. Gen. Pak Rim Su, director of the commission’s policy department, said at the press conference, according to broadcaster APTN. A number of people attended, including some foreigners who may have been Pyongyang-based diplomats, footage showed. A uniformed foreign military officer could be seen watching...

Categories Cheonan Incident/WTF?
May 17, 2010

Global Outrage as African Animals Are Treated Like North Korean Human Beings

It’s not just elephants that Zimbabwe is capturing and shipping to North Korea: Zimbabwe’s president Robert Mugabe has ordered that two of every animal species in the Hwange National Park be sent to North Korea as a gift to that country’s leader, Kim Jong Il. [Johannesburg Times] Conservationists say the President of Zimbabwe, Robert Mugabe, will send a modern-day ark, containing pairs of giraffes, zebras, baby elephants and other wild animals taken from a national park, to a zoo in...

Categories Africa/Interviews/Refugees/WTF?
May 13, 2010

Can you say, “kokiri kalbi?”

This is the cutest picture I could find. Two baby elephants intended as a gift to North Korea are unlikely to survive the journey by air, Zimbabwean conservationists said Thursday. The independent Zimbabwe Conservation Task Force said the 18-month-old elephants were being held in pens in the western Hwange National Park, along with pairs of most of the park’s other animal species bound for North Korea. The country is a longtime ally of Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe. [L.A. Times] As...

Categories Africa/WTF?
May 10, 2010

Samsung Tries to Sue Its Way to Mohammunity

Recently, a friend approached me about the idea of writing a column for a South Korean newspaper. I declined on the basis that I’m already overtaxed by the burden of writing this blog, but perhaps I should have added “the defense of personal jurisdiction” as another reason: In his Christmas Day 2009 column for the Korea Times, Michael Breen decided to lampoon such national newsmakers as President Lee Myung-bak and the pop idol Rain. Headlined “What People Got for Christmas,”...

Categories Censorship/Humor/Satire/Korean Law
May 5, 2010

I regret to inform you that other commitments prevent me from joining your DMZ hike.

Memo to the Kyonggi provincial government: Is this really the ideal time to organize DMZ hiking excursions by people wearing bright red fishing vests and sun visors? This weekend, the government of Gyeonggi Province, which borders the DMZ, is unveiling a total of 182.3 km of courses in the area. It plans to post a map on its Web site and has started marking trails as part of a strategy to boost eco-tourism. “If you come and visit this area,...

Categories North-South/WTF?