Some Levity

From a very funny blog called “Lowering the Bar,” we learn that nothing good comes of trying to put a fool and his money back together: Please note: All values in this post have been converted (very roughly) to U.S. dollars from the original South Korean currency, the won, to spare you any confusion over how much won he won or, more accurately, did not win. (There is no additional charge for this service.) Currently, a U.S. dollar will get...

ROK Intel Blames N. Korea for DDOS Attacks, But You Already Knew That

This, from the now-familiar ROK Intel Leak Ticker — unnamed members or staffers from the intelligence committee of the South Korean National Assembly, quoting unnamed members of the National Intelligence Service: A North Korean army lab of hackers was ordered to “destroy” South Korean communications networks — evidence the isolated regime was behind cyberattacks that paralyzed South Korean and American Web sites — news reports said Saturday, citing an intelligence briefing. Members of the parliamentary intelligence committee have said in...

Burmese Dissidents Worry About Junta’s Purchases of North Korean Weapons

The Burmese diaspora has become one of our best sources of information: One of the first signs of warming relations was a barter agreement between the two countries that lasted from 2000 to 2006 and saw Burma receive between 12 and 16 M-46 field guns and as many as 20 million rounds of 7.62 mm ammunition from North Korea, according to defense analyst Andrew Selth of Griffith University in Australia. In exchange, Burma bartered food and rice.  [….] The two...

Even the Chinese Tell Jokes About North Korea

It’s a little old, but if I hadn’t seen it before, I figured not all of you had, either.  You’d think that the humor wouldn’t translate, but actually, it does, though grimly: 一个英国人,一个法国人,一个朝鲜人在一起聊天。英国人:最幸福的事情就是冬天晚上回家,穿着羊毛裤坐在壁 炉前面。法国人:你们英国人就是古板,最幸福的事情是和一个金发女郎一起去地中海度假,然后我们好和好散。朝鲜人:最幸福的事情就是半夜有人敲门,开门 后:” 康成美,你被捕了。””你弄错了,康成美在隔壁。” A Briton, a Frenchman, and a North Korean are having a conversation. The Briton: “I feel happiest when relaxing before the fireplace on a winter night. Frenchman: “You guys are too old fashioned. I feel happiest when I go on vacation with a beautiful...

Brownback Introduces Sanctions Bill in the Senate

Thomas still doesn’t have the text for S.1416, though it summarizes the bill as follows: Title: A bill require [sic] the redesignation of North Korea as a state sponsor of terrorism, to impose sanctions with respect to North Korea, to require reports on the status of North Korea’s nuclear weapons program and counterproliferation efforts, and for other purposes. The bill has two co-sponsors, Kyl and Gregg, both Republicans, although it’s not clear how Democrats will react, given the administration’s mood:...

Succession Watch

According to Open Radio for North Korea, party officials are already announcing Kim Jong Un’s succession.  Me:  maybe so, but that doesn’t translate to him holding real power.  I’m still waiting for the KNCA tributes to his academic achievements, martial spirit, invention of a new edible grass, and his single-handed responsibility for the Great DOS Attack of 2009.  Nor is there any reason to think that KJU would rule differently than his father did.  Strawman: But he went to school...

An Update on the Ling-Lee Situation

While there isn’t a lot of new news to report, there are a few things worth mentioning. First of all, after weeks of silence, Laura Ling again contacted her sister Lisa, most recently last night, with a specific message including a confession that she and Lee broke North Korean law: “I know that our government has been working behind the scenes very hard trying to bring the girls back home,” she said. But she added, “Our countries don’t talk, and...

High-Level Defector Describes Regime’s Illicit Income

I’d previously mentioned that I recently had the opportunity to meet Kim Kwang Jin, a high-level North Korean defector with detailed knowledge of North Korea’s illicit financing and money laundering.  Now, Kim adds much to our understanding of how North Korea pays for all those Mercedes-Benzes and missiles.  Having guessed that most of the cash came from flipping houses and the inventing some of the novel kitchen applicances I’d seen Billy Mays selling on my TV, this was a cruel...

North Korea Suspected in Cyber Attacks (Update: White House Also Targeted)

If the South Korean leak ticker is right about this, ballistic missile tests weren’t the only mischief Kim Jong Il had in mind for us on the Fourth of July: The sites of 11 South Korean organizations, including the presidential Blue House and the Defense Ministry, went down or had access problems since late Tuesday, according to the state-run Korea Information Security Agency. [AP, Hyung-Jin Kim] To be precise about it, South Korean intelligence reports leaked by staffers of National...

Is Kim Jong Il Dying?

Broadly speaking, we all are, but if you ever see a face this dessicated in the mirror, seek medical attention.  Kim Jong Il emerged from his seclusion, reportedly from one of his seaside palaces where he’d been recovering from a stroke, to attend a memorial for his late god-king father.  The man looks liked warmed-over death, and he needs some Rogaine:   (Photo credit:  Reuters / KRT) A comparison of these pictures to images of the 67 year-old thug from...

Fireworks

Not that I paid much attention, but North Korea did in fact live up to expectations that it would test missiles on the 4th of July.  So often, our media get excited about the testing of anti-ship missiles which probably aren’t nuclear capable and probably couldn’t do much damage to ground targets in Japan or South Korea.  This time, however, the North fired off seven short-range missiles.  They were SCUD-C’s or Nodong’s, which could do serious damage to a South...

North Korea’s Great Leap Backward

It’s not just on this blog where the ill-informed and the self-deluded continue to defy years of bitter experience and advocate “engagement” with the North Korean regime as a way to encourage economic reform. You can still hear academics in Washington cite the potential for economic reform in North Korea as a reason not to impose sanctions after North Korea’s nuke and missile tests. Some day, we must make a point of tabulating the amount of money spent on this...

The Nukings Will Continue Until Morale Improves

It must not be easy being the tyrannical overlord of a country you’ve single-handed transformed into a famished, backward prison yard while trying to persuade your subjects that they’re still the envy of the world. There’s always soul-crushing brainwashing, smothering isolation human civilization, extra meat rations for people who rat their your neighbors, the timeless dark arts of racism and xenophobia, and the fear of public execution or a prolonged death in the gulags. Did I mention isolation and brainwashing?...

Malaysian Bank Linked to North Korean WMD; Happy 5th to GI Korea (Updated)

GI Korea explains what Philip Goldberg was doing in Malaysia. By the way, let me add my belated good wishes to GI Korea on the fifth anniversary of the founding of his blog.  The fact that it’s one of two with feeds on my sidebar should be some testament to my high regard for the amount and quality of information he posts (NKEconWatch would be the third if its RSS worked there).  It’s one of my daily reads, and the...

State Dep’t: NK Trades in Slave Labor

What the State Department is saying about North Korea’s use of forced labor is at least as strident as anything we heard during George W. Bush’s second term.  I suspect we’re seeing a combination of two things here — first, the State Department has internal politics of its own, and the bureaus that deal with labor and refugee issues tend to subscribe less to the diplomacy of connivance than the East Asia Bureau.  Second, with North Korea’s recent behavior pushing...

Chosun Ilbo: Ling and Lee Likely to Be Sent to “Special” Labor Camp

The Chosun Ilbo speculates — and that’s pretty much all there is to this — that Laura Ling and Euna Lee will miss the opportunity to report on the conditions in a real North Korean labor camp. Lucky for them. Instead, they will probably be sent to a special camp originally built to accommodate ranking members of the Workers Party and other figures thought to merit special treatment. Special camps are better furnished than general camps, and inmates reportedly do...