Category: Unintended Humor

That Rabbi was such a nice man. Maybe I should send him another ham.

South Korean President Lee Myung Bak, who as mayor of Seoul awkwardly offered the city to Almighty God, was recently rescued from the brink of a social and sectarian fiasco when a staffer prevented him from sending Chuseok gift sets of dried anchovies to a group of Buddhist monks (link is in Korean). Fact 1: Buddhist monks are required to abstain from eating living things. Fact 2: 22.8% of President Lee’s constituents are Buddhists. So many mouths. How can one...

Tokdoheit 451: Let’s have an essay contest!

There appears to be no end to Korea’s passion for insignificant, isolated scraps of land. Some 85.5 percent of the 451 islets in the Apnok (or Yalu) and Duman (or Tumen) rivers on the border between North Korea and China properly belong to the North, an academic claims. Prof. Suh Kil-soo of Seokyeong University makes the claim in a study of the border along Mt. Baekdu and the two rivers, which will be released in a seminar of the Koguryo...

Die, Swedish Imperialists!

The blog is writing itself again: The Communist North Korean government has declared Sweden their enemy and a US war puppet.  […]   According to information from the Swedish Armed Forces, this brusque message was first conveyed in a North Korean radio broadcast, then printed as an official document and distributed to the United Nations. The North Koreans’ attack is not directed against the Swedish government as such, but against Sweden’s and other neutral countries’ military observation missions on the...

Hey everyone! Roh Tae-Woo’s brother is going to make me rich!

Well, just imagine my feeling of serendipity at seeing this in my in-box today!    My rat race is over at last!   Just whatever you do, don’t tell the crack cyber-cops at the Ministry of Information and Communications…. Greetings from me and my family. Getting your contact was not an easy task because since I am not computer literate, I ordered my son to seek  a partner very far away and he went to the institute of International Business...

OK, But in All Fairness, Chomsky Pyschosis Is a Diagnosis, Too

John Feffer could be more accurately described as a  hack  apologist for  its regime than an authority on North Korea.  Feffer recently won  himself a  Bruce Cumings  Prize  for the  year’s  most  spectacularly ill-timed defense of the indefensible.  What the Soviet archives did for Cumings’s academic reputation,  the Havel-Wiesel-Bondevik report  ought to have done for Feffer’s denial of Kim Jong Il’s culpability for the great famine  that sacrificed millions of lives for nukes and missiles,  had anyone actually read what...

Fun With Konglish

Although history may eventually record that the Daily NK was the most important Korean newspaper of this century, I sometimes wish I had the time to help them out with their English edition: The newspaper also reported that while N. Korea has screwed most of salaries of its workers recently dispatched in Czech and Poland, it has seemed to actively export their workers to the Middle-East areas. Somehow, I don’t think that came out quite as meant.  It’s an interesting...

On Second Thought, We Can Too Remain Silent (Updated)

Update:   To extend the Marmot’s comment on this issue, sometimes it is necessary to call bullshit to cry freedom.  I thought it would be fun to contrast the South Korean Human Rights Commission’s  refusal of jurisdiction  to investigate or talk about human rights in North  Korea with its March 26,  2003  condemnation of the U.S.-coalition invasion of Iraq.  As I found this morning, the English versions of the HRC’s previous statements and annual reports  had recently and mysteriously vanished...

S. Korean Businessman Praised for Helping to Print Distorted Textbooks

Books printed by the recipient of the donated printing press have been known to deny the legitimacy of the Republic of Korea, support policies that  have killed millions of Koreans,  and falsely accuse  American soldiers of an organized campaign of rape on the streets of Seoul.  Unlike past controversies over foreign textbooks, however, police predict absolutely  no outrage on the streets this time.  Foreign analysts who were asked to explain the uncharacteristic calm simply shook their heads in befuddlement and...

Kim Jong Il Glimpses His ‘Pleasure Squad’ in the Afterlife

The Korea Economic Institute was kind enough to send me what turned out to be one of the most interesting and readable papers I’ve ever read on North Korea — a psychological study of Kim Jong Il. The bad news is that KEI has not released the full text yet, but the good news is that if you follow the previous link, the author will participate in a public discussion of his paper at the National War College on December...

Great Moments in Diplomacy: N. Korea Wants Japan Kicked Out of Six-Party Talks

Something tells me that we haven’t reached a fundamental change in North Korea’s negotiating attitude. North Korea said Saturday it wants Japan out of six-party disarmament talks, calling officials in Tokyo “political imbeciles” for saying they will not accept Pyongyang as a nuclear power. …. A statement from North Korea’s Foreign Ministry on Saturday said “there is no need for Japan to participate in (the talks) as a local delegate because it is no more than a state of the...

Someone Please Staple Kim Geun-Tae’s Lips Together

This is an act that damages our national pride and is not appropriate for the South Korea-U.S. alliance.” — Kim Geun Tae, head of S. Korea’s ruling party and North Korea’s favorite dancing piggy, on hearing that the United States actually intends to implement U.N. Security Council Resolution 1718. When I worried aloud that the United States would ease sanctions on North Korea during the pendency of the next round of endless, pointless six-party extortion denuclearization talks, I based my...

Everybody Riot!

This week, U.S. forces picked up or put down (I use the term in the veterinary sense) 20 members of an al-Qaeda cell in Baghdad.  It’s always unfortunate when terrorists choose to take shelter in civilian neighborhoods; worse yet when some inhabitants choose to shelter them, thus endangering their families and their neighbors.  As a consequence, a woman and child who didn’t have to die, died.  Observe the reaction of some: Angry men at the scene held up a color...

Operation Ieodo Freedom© Begins!

You have got to be kidding me. This is Ieodo? It’s not even an island. Stll, the big, bold “Ieodo Korea” is a nice touch, and if that’s not enough to preserve Korea’s territorial integrity (such as it is), those crack VANK commandoes launched a bold pre-dawn raid — on the “Suyan Rock” Wikipedia page — and overwhelmed the sleeping red hordes to seize control of the smoldering, pock-marked moonscape that remains. According to that same Wiki page, Ieodo is...

One Man’s Freedom Fighter…

“Congratulations! You are in a cage, Saddam,” witness Ghafour Hassan Abdullah said as he stared at the ousted president. Saddam listened silently but lost his temper when a lawyer described Iraqi Kurdish rebels as freedom fighters. “You are agents of Iran and Zionism! We will crush your heads!” he shouted. We will crush your heads! Remind you of anyone? Incidentally, none of my trials featured exchanges like that. Meanwhile, Havana, Cuba is hosting a summit of the Non-Aligned Movement, the...

For My Next Act, I Shall Balance Four Whales on One Shrimp!

Roh Moo Hyun thinks his neighborhood needs a regional “multilateral security framework:” Roh […] emphasized that the European experience can be useful in coping with pending issues surrounding the Korean Peninsula. He said challenges confronting Northeast Asia include lingering Cold War-like tensions, concerns over the spread of weapons of mass destruction, terrorism and environmental protection. He also said there are uncertainties on the possible realignment of power among Northeast Asian actors. “The European system that laid the foundation for the...