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Category: Humor/Satire

July 28, 2006

Journalistic Absurdity of the Day

Yonhap News gives us this head-scratcher in the course of reporting on North Korea’s new demand for its missile launches not to affect the Kaesong Industrial Complex: Nevertheless, the joint industrial complex has been a burden for the South Korean government as there are concerns that a portion of the wages paid to North Korean workers there could be used to develop missiles. (emphasis mine) I’m in awe. Those people labor long hours in sweatshops for a pittance and still...

Categories Appeasement/Famine & Food Aid/Human Rights/Human Trafficking/Humor/Satire/NK Economics/Uncategorized/WMD
July 27, 2006

Someone Call Guiness; Ask for the ‘Most Chutzpah’ Desk

[Update: Perfectly on cue, North Korea accuses Israel of “barbaric genocide.” There are times I think they read this blog.] “[This] is a reckless act, an inhumane act unprecedented in the world, and a dire human right violation!” We’re referring to none of the things that have probably crossed your mind by now, but Japan’s decision to deny entry visas to five North Koreans who sought to retrieve the remains of relatives who died in Japan 60+ years ago, and...

Categories "United" Nations/History/Japan & Korea/Unintended Humor
July 23, 2006

Kim Jong Il Marries Yonsama in Private Vermont Ceremony

Hey … look at these pics and tell me I’m off base here. Tell me these are really two different people. Ever seen them at the same place and time? Didn’t think so! . . . . . . . . Oh, sure, you could decide to believe the “authorized” reports, like those from Chosun Ilbo (Korean only), the Joongang Ilbo (English) and Yonhap (English), but who are you going to believe? Them, or your own eyes? Big hat tip...

Categories Humor/Satire/Kim Jong Il
July 23, 2006

And They Wonder Why Relations Are Deteriorating

Update: Ouch. You can clearly see how this administration has moved to the left from where it began. UniFiction Minister Lee Jong-Seok says the United States “failed the most” when North Korea launched its missile. You thought, perhaps, those whose main event exploded 45 seconds after launch? The rising superpower whose uncontrollable satellite managed to cement a U.S.-Japanese alliance? The government whose incalculably costly and increasingly unpopular appeasement policies were exposed as a worthless sham at the push of one...

Categories An Alliance?/Anti-Americanism/U.S. & Korea/WMD/WTF?
July 17, 2006

The Death of an Aliance, Part 43: Kim Won-Ung, Nutcase

The problem with identifying the most unhinged politician in South Korea’s ruling Uri party is a lot like trying to identify France’s most offensive armpit: at a certain point, extremity renders empirical comparison pointless. Still, I’m not sure anyone in the Uri party has built a more solid record than ex-GNP’er Kim Won-Ung, the only South Korean parliamentarian to have earned two of his very own “DOA” posts. His latest oral discharge is a ferocious denial that North Korea’s short-range...

Categories An Alliance?/Anti-Americanism/Appeasement/U.S. & Korea/U.S. Military/WMD/WTF?
July 13, 2006

The Sunshine Policy Is Dead

I guess the whole protection racket thing was the last straw. Now they’ve even managed to rile South Korea’s UniFiction Minister, Lee Jong-Seok. Efforts to bring North Korea back to disarmament talks were in tatters on Thursday as Pyongyang stormed out of a meeting with the South and a senior U.S. diplomat left the region after a week of shuttle diplomacy. …. “The South side will pay a price before the nation for causing the collapse of the ministerial talks...

Categories Appeasement/Diplomacy/Unintended Humor/WTF?
July 12, 2006

An Offer They Can’t Refuse

A few days ago, I offered a possible explanation for why North Korea launched seven missiles, despite the likely result that it would ultimately bring down an adverse response from the U.S., Japan, and other nations. According to my “Barrel of a Gun” Theory ©, North Korea launched those missiles to save face, to disguise an impending supplication as extortion for its domestic audience. And sure enough, North Korea is now demanding “protection” aid: North Korea’s Senior Cabinet Counselor Kwon...

Categories Appeasement/North Korea/Unintended Humor/WMD/WTF?
July 6, 2006

At the U.N., Life Imitates ‘Team America’

Kim Jong Il: Hans Brix? Oh no! Oh, herro. Great to see you again, Hans! Hans Blix: Mr. Il, I was supposed to be allowed to inspect your palace today, but your guards won’t let me enter certain areas. Kim Jong Il: Hans, Hans, Hans! We’ve been frew this a dozen times. I don’t have any weapons of mass destwuction, OK Hans? Hans Blix: Then let me look around, so I can ease the UN’s collective mind. I’m sorry, but...

Categories "United" Nations/China/China & Korea/Counterfeiting/Diplomacy/NK Economics/Unintended Humor/WMD/WTF?
July 4, 2006

Photoshopped?

Says commenter “olivianewtinseoul:” You photoshopped Pyongyang black in your banner. Put it back to how ti is in that silly ass KOB. The original is here, courtesy of the left-of-center Federation of American Scientists, and as linked by Slate’s Christopher Hitchens in his excellent article, “Worse than 1984: North Korea, Slave State.” The original was taken by NASA on April 15, 2001, using low light level imaging. If you shop around, you will find other photographs taken on different days...

Categories WTF?
June 30, 2006

Korea, Where Life Imitates Monty Python

This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let’s not bicker and argue about who killed who. — Monty Python and the Holy Grail [P]ointing out mistakes and bickering over what is right and wrong is not helpful, and in the end the injury rebounds on the abduction victim and the victim’s family….” — Unidentified official, defending South Korea’s low-key reaction to a statement by South Korean abductee Kim Yong Nam, under the careful observation of North Korean minders, that...

Categories Abductions/Appeasement/Korean Politics/Unintended Humor/WTF?