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Category: Humor/Satire

January 22, 2007

It’s All a Matter of Perspective

Does it sometimes seem to you like we are two ships that pass in the night?  The South Korean government should not disgrace itself by obeying foreign powers and imposing sanctions on its brethren….  South Korea’s political parties, groups and the public in all walks of life should be aware of the maneuvers of conservatives to take power ….   South Koreans should form a broad anti-conservative alliance to destroy pro-American and anti-unification politicians and their conspiracies. You say that like...

Categories Anti-Americanism/Appeasement/WTF?
January 18, 2007

I’m Kim Jong Il, and I Approve This Message!

The message is, “if you elect  the Grand National Party, I’ll nuke you!”  “South Koreans are well aware that if the GNP takes power, it will destroy North-South relations and leave them only with the calamity of nuclear war,” wrote the Rodong Shinmun, the North Korean Workers’ Party daily. “The GNP and their puppets stand to be destroyed.” The daily again denied the GNP’s charge that the Committee for the Peaceful Reunification of the Fatherland, in similar remarks on Jan....

Categories Appeasement/Korean Politics/WMD/WTF?
January 9, 2007

Chosun Ilbo Draws ‘Line of Death!’

Let’s start by giving credit where it’s due.  The Chosun Ilbo wrote a great headline:  “An Offer Worth Throwing Into the East Sea.”  Nice.  They refer to President Roh Moo Hyun’s howler about renaming the Sea of Japan the “Sea of Peace.”  This is just the latest new low in Korea’s unhealthy obsession with things that do not matter, to the detriment of addressing things that matter. [T]he president, without careful scrutiny, blurted out an impromptu proposal about an issue...

Categories Japan & Korea/WTF?
January 8, 2007

Give Peace a Chance! Announcing the OFK Tokdo Renaming Contest!

With Roh Moo Hyun having proposed “Sea of Peace” to resolve the artificial nomenclature controversy between “East Sea” and “Sea of Japan,” and in the spirit of preventing what  would be the most needless conflict since the siege of Troy, it is time for us to take the next logical step and resolve the controversy between “Tokdo” and “Takeshima.”  Please join me in making history, and help  give peace a chance.     I open the bidding with a few suggestions:

Categories Humor/Satire/Japan & Korea
January 5, 2007

Because the Last One Solved So Much …

… South Korea is  begging the North Koreans for another summit.  Except that it really isn’t: During the interview, Lee said, “Now is the time for the North to give an answer (to the opening of a second summit). I hope the North will prepare fully to hold (the summit) at an early date.” But Lee said it is not proper for the Seoul government to make a specific request about this matter under the current circumstances, apparently referring to...

Categories Appeasement/Diplomacy/WTF?
December 14, 2006

Chinese Diplomats on the Town, Behaving Like … American Infantry!

Heard in the Forbidden City:  “Those uppity vassals won’t get away with  indignities like this  when we build our governor’s mansion on top of Kwanghwamun!” Police pulled over a car with the diplomatic license plate of the Chinese Embassy near the main gate of Ewha Women’s University around 9:50 p.m. on Tuesday. The driver and three passengers declined to take the test or confirm their identities and kept doors and windows locked. Police guided the car into a corner, where...

Categories China & Korea/UCMJ & SOFA/WTF?
December 13, 2006

Fun With Konglish

Although history may eventually record that the Daily NK was the most important Korean newspaper of this century, I sometimes wish I had the time to help them out with their English edition: The newspaper also reported that while N. Korea has screwed most of salaries of its workers recently dispatched in Czech and Poland, it has seemed to actively export their workers to the Middle-East areas. Somehow, I don’t think that came out quite as meant.  It’s an interesting...

Categories Media Criticism/Unintended Humor
December 12, 2006

On Second Thought, We Can Too Remain Silent (Updated)

Update:   To extend the Marmot’s comment on this issue, sometimes it is necessary to call bullshit to cry freedom.  I thought it would be fun to contrast the South Korean Human Rights Commission’s  refusal of jurisdiction  to investigate or talk about human rights in North  Korea with its March 26,  2003  condemnation of the U.S.-coalition invasion of Iraq.  As I found this morning, the English versions of the HRC’s previous statements and annual reports  had recently and mysteriously vanished...

Categories Appeasement/Human Rights/Korean Politics/Unintended Humor/WTF?
December 11, 2006

Talks Watch

North Korea sounds serious about wanting to exclude Japan from the six-nation talks. “Japan is nothing but a swindler who doesn’t even have the qualifications to attend the six-party talks,” the ruling Workers’ Party daily Rodong Sinmun said in an editorial carried by the North’s Korean Central News Agency. I continue awaiting an explanation of just why it’s America’s fault that we’re failing to break through and reason with these people.

Categories Japan & Korea/Six-Party Talks/WTF?
December 9, 2006

S. Korean Businessman Praised for Helping to Print Distorted Textbooks

Books printed by the recipient of the donated printing press have been known to deny the legitimacy of the Republic of Korea, support policies that  have killed millions of Koreans,  and falsely accuse  American soldiers of an organized campaign of rape on the streets of Seoul.  Unlike past controversies over foreign textbooks, however, police predict absolutely  no outrage on the streets this time.  Foreign analysts who were asked to explain the uncharacteristic calm simply shook their heads in befuddlement and...

Categories Anti-Americanism/Appeasement/Unintended Humor/WTF?
December 8, 2006

Kim Jong Il Glimpses His ‘Pleasure Squad’ in the Afterlife

The Korea Economic Institute was kind enough to send me what turned out to be one of the most interesting and readable papers I’ve ever read on North Korea — a psychological study of Kim Jong Il. The bad news is that KEI has not released the full text yet, but the good news is that if you follow the previous link, the author will participate in a public discussion of his paper at the National War College on December...

Categories Diplomacy/Humor/Satire/Kim Jong Il/Unintended Humor
December 6, 2006

South Korea’s ‘Hostile’ Class

Leaving no stone unturned in its quest to emulate North Korean concepts of social justice, South Korea has announced the first official list of 100  Japanese collaborators whose blood, we can suppose,  will hereby stain three generations of class enemies (from way back in 1904, in some cases!).  Just to make sure the new songbun designations become nice and official, the government sent notices to  said descendants.  Depending on whose report you believe, there are either about 400, about 800,...

Categories History/Japan & Korea/Korean Law/Korean Politics/Korean Society/WTF?
December 4, 2006

North Korea’s New Low: Murder for Insurance Money

I  have blogged about the evidence supporting charges that North Korea has committed  racial infanticide, killed entire families in a gas chamber, and starved millions of innocent people to death because it would rather buy MiG’s than corn.  Perhaps in the grander scheme, all of those outrages are worse than this one, yet on some level I can’t quite explain, it does seem like a new low: Death is hardly a rare thing in North Korea, where millions are estimated...

Categories Human Rights/NK Economics/WTF?